“Your aunt is going to have a baby,” my mom informed me when I was eleven years old. I cried…not because I was upset that they had a baby on the way, but because I thought that the stork was making a delivery to the wrong house. I wanted another little brother or sister! But on a night in early August 1991, when my mom came upstairs to tell me that my little cousin, Sharla, had been born, I was ecstatic! She became the little sister that I never had. We lived in the same community, and she spent a lot of time at our house, especially during the time when her father was seriously injured in a farming accident.

As we grew up, however, our paths diverged, and we didn’t spend much time together. I had moved away from the community; she then married and had a busy life of her own. Even though we did not spend much time together anymore, we had many similar interests. Sharla also enjoyed sewing and made beautiful fabric purses to sell. In addition to the 80-90 purses that she made, she pieced several quilts as well. (She also enjoyed hosting lovely tea parties.)

When our family got together to celebrate Christmas a few years ago, we all noticed that she didn’t look well. And a few weeks later, we heard the unthinkable news that at the age of 25, she had incurable cancer. Over the next 15 months, she chose to fight the cancer, while living life as normally as possible. She continued making purses, but instead of selling them, she gave them away to friends and family. I was fortunate enough to receive one from her.

I asked if she would teach me how to make them, and today is the second anniversary of the last day that we spent together. I almost canceled our plans that day because my then 3-year old daughter was running a fever, and I felt guilty for leaving her and my then infant with my mom while I spent the day sewing, but I am forever grateful that I chose to spend that day with Sharla. To my knowledge, it was the last day of her life that she picked up needle and thread. The next week, she became too ill to leave her home and she passed away almost 4 months later.

Me (left) and Sharla (right) together for the last time on December 4, 2017.

During our day of sewing together, I took over 60 photos and even a video, to document every step and helpful instruction so that I would have something to refer to in the future because I knew that she wouldn’t be available to answer questions at some point. Because I had to take several breaks during the day to go back to my mom’s house to nurse Em, I was not able to complete the purse that day, but she gave me clear instructions on what to do. It took me a couple of weeks to pick it up again partly because it felt daunting to carry on without her meticulous instruction, but mostly, because it was so emotional. I cried every time I sat down at my sewing machine, but I was determined to get it completed before she passed away. By the end of January, I completed it, but I was never able to show it to her because she was too ill at that point to receive many visitors.

The purse that Sharla taught me to make.

Sharla passed away on March 23, 2018. I so clearly remember the phone call from my mom telling me that Sharla was gone. The news was devastating, but knowing that her suffering was over brought peace, too. The last few months of her life were incredibly difficult and painful. I do not have the words to describe how she and those around her suffered. She was laid to rest on a cold, rainy day in March. Seeing my uncle and aunt and my cousins bury their only daughter and sister and her young husband bury his wife…again, I have no words to describe…the tears are flowing again as I recall it.

It was about three months after she passed away before I made my first tote bag, using the technique that I learned from Sharla. And it was prompted by need. I had gone to the library with an 11-month old and 3-year old and came home determined that I needed something to make getting books to the car easier and to double as a storage location at home so that the library books wouldn’t get mixed up with our own collection. So, I designed a pattern and made the tote bag/basket pictured below, mostly using fabric and supplies that I had on hand:

In addition to being great for books, it worked as diaper storage and stuffed animal storage. (I made an inner pocket so that the handles could neatly be tucked inside when used as a storage basket).

In fact, a friend ordered the one below to give as a baby gift to her sister who was adopting an infant. It was especially fun to make this one because I was also friends with the intended recipient and was so very excited that she and her husband were finally becoming parents.

Another friend wanted one to use for books because she has twins who love to read. I recently asked if she still uses it for that purpose, and she sent me the photo below.

I made these two bags also yet that year. (The larger one was the first project that I made with the Miss Mustard Seed Bunnies, Birds, & Blooms collection. I loved working with the fabric and chose to hand-stitch some embroidery on the front to give it a special finish. The smaller one was a child-size tote that I made for a birthday gift for the daughter of a friend.)

I made these tote bags because of what I learned from Sharla. Had I not spent that day with her on December 4, 2017, I doubt that I ever would have given making purses or tote bags a try. I certainly would not have had enough knowledge to start designing my own patterns. And so, whenever you see a tote bag or purse that I make in the future, please remember the story and the person behind them. She will always be in my heart…and the hearts of all of those whom her short life touched.

Remembering Sharla...and why I started making tote bags...