The Story of the Dress
As I shared with you on Tuesday, Ryan and I celebrated our anniversary this week. And as I mentioned, we had a budget wedding. Our entire wedding cost less than what some brides spend on a dress. If you missed reading our wedding story, you can read it here: Our Perfect Day.
Amazingly enough, I didn’t have to buy a dress, and here is that story…
After I started dating Ryan, I wanted one of my best friends, Beth, and her husband to meet him. Beth is like a sister to me. We met when I moved to a new city to start a new job. She and her husband lived in the townhouse next door, and we became close friends. Beth’s sister-in-law passed away the week that I moved next to Beth, and I got to know her when she was grieving that loss while also becoming the joint caregiver with her brother of her infant niece, whose young mother had died suddenly and unexpectedly. I think that there is something about getting to know someone in difficult circumstances that removes the superficiality of a relationship. Beth and I got to know each other well quickly because we had no interest in trivialities—we needed to talk about deep, heart-wrenching life stuff right away. And because she lived next door, we spent a lot of time together—I would often drop in after work to play with her little niece while Beth made dinner and when her husband got home, we would eat together and talk more.
At one point, when I was between apartments, I lived with Beth and her family. They became my non-biological family—I hold them so dear in my heart. And so, it was very important to me that they meet the man that I was considering marrying! By this time, Beth and I lived in different cities, and so we chose to meet somewhere in the middle. We ate lunch and then went out to walk on a downtown pedestrian mall to continue chatting. At one point, Beth pulled me aside and said, “I have a wedding dress for you.” Well, at this point, I knew that she approved of Ryan!
Upon further questioning from me, Beth revealed the story of the dress up to that point.
Here is Beth’s side of the story:
Nancy (left) and Beth (right) at Beth’s wedding.
Our Dress: At my final dress fitting, my sweet Maid of Honor, Nancy, asked a nonchalant, but precious, question. "I just love your dress. It is exactly what I would pick out for myself. If I ever get married, can I wear it in my wedding?" What makes the comment even more interesting is that I was 26, but she was 45 and had never been married. I was shocked by her question, but also deeply touched. She hadn't dated anyone in a decade, so it warmed my heart to see her hope that it might still happen. I agreed wholeheartedly and hugged her. She stood beside me when I was married in July and amazingly she met her future husband in August! When they got engaged, she asked me to seriously consider whether I felt comfortable with her wearing my wedding dress.
Beth and Dave
Over the next few days, I thought about the beautiful, albeit, inexpensive dress, I had paid to preserve. I hoped that someday, if we had a daughter, she could wear the dress if she wanted to. But I would also have to lug this giant box around for several decades. Who knew if we would be able to have children or if it would even be in good condition by then. Ultimately, I decided that someone I love now wanted to wear the dress. Why not give my resilient, hope-filled friend this gift?
My heart was bursting with joy to see her wearing "our" dress to marry her answer to prayer.
A few years later, Nancy asked if I wanted our dress back. She had also had it preserved and needed space in their small home. I decided that I wasn't quite ready to part with it, and I just stored it under our bed.
During this time, I built a deep friendship with Marilla. We became neighbors during a particularly painful, emotional season in my life, and we bonded quickly. One night we had a heart-to-heart after Marilla had gone through a difficult break-up and that night when I went to sleep, I noticed the wedding dress. Marilla had said she was convinced marriage was not in her future. I could certainly understand her pain, but I decided to start praying specifically for the Lord to guide her into marriage. I prayed that God would let her even wear "our dress" if she did. It was a silly little add onto to the main prayer, but it was my way of having hope. I didn't tell her this until years later, because I didn't want to cause her pain.
Back to my story:
Several months after Beth and Dave met Ryan, I traveled to their house a couple of hours away to try on the dress . I was overwhelmed and astonished because it fit perfectly! The alterations that Beth’s friend, Nancy, had made to the dress made it fit me also. Beth took these pictures of me trying on the dress for the first time!
It was absolutely incredible to me that I would get to wear this dress that had been worn by such precious ladies previously. It meant so much more to me than if I had purchased a new one for myself!
But even more precious to me was having my dear friend, Beth, stand next to me as my Matron of Honor on my wedding day…
Although we are now separated by several states, we still try to get together when Beth comes back to Virginia to visit her family, and someday, I want to visit her at her home. Here is a picture of Beth and Dave with Ryan and me last summer. I have found that true friendships endure the tests of time and distance, and I am so thankful that I met Beth many years ago and that we had the opportunity to form a deep and lasting friendship.
Photo credits: Top Photo by Christine Wright. All other photos were provided by Beth.
The rest of the story on the dress: I held onto the dress for seven years. Beth moved several states away before I got the dress back to her. And finally, last year, she decided that it was time to donate the dress to another cause. Beth and I have both lost children in miscarriages so we donated the dress to a foundation that supports families going through the loss of infants and children. It was hard to let go of “our dress,” but none of the three of us had room to store it, and it was time to let it go to bless someone else.
And in the future, I will be sharing the story of my wedding ring.